The Divine is reaching out to me.
There are those moments, when you are so desperately and acutely aware of your own hopelessness and inability to please God.
Why am I so love-starved? Why am I so forgetful?
You’d think that growing up in a Christian family, working in a missions org, and studying in a seminary where I read and study the Bible every day (something I never imagined I’d ever do, to be honest) would cause me to not forget the very basic, fundamental truth that God loves me no matter what.
Why am I so inclined to think that I am worthless, that the things I do are insignificant, that I do not have purpose?
Have I (yet again) started believing lies?
It’s a self-destructive mindset, one that is a result of the fall — I know this much. This, I realize now more than ever, is one of the devastating results of sin. It hurts me too. My own sin hurts me.
And why do I almost always tend to believe that I have disappointed God? This is me right now: burning with the most miserable feeling of embarrassment at being a disappointment to God.
He reaches down and reminds me of nothing short of His… love.
He reached down last night, as I prayed and mulled over my shame and struggles.
He reached down this morning, in Theology class as we discussed and reflected on Propitiation and the Hypostatic Union of Jesus’ Two Natures (of all things!).
He reached down at Chapel Time today, when kuya Craig, one of the Professors, exhorted us, “We need to be reminded of this, and we need to hear this: ‘God loves you.'”
It is so simple, and so profound, and so true.
I may have failed people. It’s okay, God loves me.
I have hurt others. Still, God loves me.
I am not who I think I ought to be. It doesn’t matter, God loves me.
I believe I have disappointed God. That is not true, and God loves me.
The Divine is reaching out to me, and yes, He loves me.