I’m okay staying Single… forever.

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sarah in pma

I have recently decided I don’t mind being single forever and not getting married.

Actually, I decided that last week.

Consider an episode I had with a friend last Sunday. I was talking to one of my Professors, someone I really respect, and whose insights I value. When he asked me, “What are your plans after seminary?”, I thought I was in for some free counseling time.

So I answered him.

I told him I was really keen on doing cross-cultural missions, evangelism and discipleship, and maybe humanitarian works.

I told him I was very much interested in Christian Apologetics, and that I desire to do further studies in that area.

I told him I was passionate about the arts, especially music and literature, and would very much like to study more formally and increase my platform.

I told him that while I plan all of these, I have no idea how to accomplish them, or how to combine them (or if I should), and that I just don’t know what to do next.

He affirmed my desires, then he said, “The key is to find a man with the same passions as you do…”

I have to admit I didn’t hear anything else after hearing the “The key is to find a man…” part of his statement. Because why does everything have to depend on me finding a man?! (Do I have issues with men? Maybe. No. Not really. Am I a – *gasp* – a feminist? NO!)

So I answered Professor, “Oh, but I’ve decided that I’m okay being single forever.”

I admitted that I think do like the idea of being in love, and getting married. I like the idea. 

But! There is a lot that needs to be done in the world, a lot of needs to be filled, and a lot I want to do. 

Between all my plans of cross-cultural missions, humanitarian works, higher studies and personal artistic development, not to mention my short-term goals of writing a book, publishing a book, traveling widely, and starring in a Broadway show (Joke! Or maybe not), where, I ask, WHERE WILL I FIND THE TIME TO EVEN DATE?!

So I decided, last week, that if I were to date and marry, he would have to share my dreams, and he would have to be absolutely, hundred-percent convicted that he is to be God’s agent to help me fulfill my dreams and help me blossom, just as I am fully convicted that I will support him and encourage him to greater heights with all my heart, mind and soul.

He would have to be that kind of man. If not, then I’d rather stay single.

SO AM I REALLY, REALLY SURE?

At this point, you, dear reader, are probably either smiling, laughing, or scoffing at my naivete… the same way the Professor at the beginning of this post reacted to my “declaration.”

This professor incredulously, and I think maybe even exasperatingly, asked me, “How old are you?!”

“Twenty-three,” I replied.

“YOU ARE SO YOUNG!” he roared. “TALK TO ME WHEN YOU’RE TWENTY SIX!”

Who knows? Maybe at twenty-six, or even twenty-five, I would change my mind. Maybe I’d change my mind next week! (Lol joke, I don’t think so.)

But to be honest, deciding to be single actually felt liberating. Really, really!

Also, just to get it out of the way, yes, I am aware that there may have been things I have not considered, or flaws in my logic or reasoning. (If you think so, please tell me how I erred in a nice way, down in the comments section.)

I’ll let time and life affirm or rebuke me, but for now, I’m enjoying this freedom of choice.

 

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14 responses »

  1. naks UP classmate. 🙂 deciding to be single is actually a great choice, at least for now, because with such decision you will have greater liberty to serve the Lord with your calling. though tama rin yung sinabi ng prof mo na balikan mo siya pag 26 ka na. by that time, tingin ko baka magbago yan. hehe. kidding aside, at this stage in life we will put more time to be devoted to the Lord. and God will surely reward your devotion, by giving you that man who would actually have the same passions as you do.
    -gjohn ( facebook.com/anonymouz )

      • yaan mo. di ako pressured as you are. both in marriage and singleness there’s a beauty in it, especially when God is in the center of both. quarterlife feels na ako ngayon pero keri lang, nasa season naman ang lahat ng bagay. :DD

  2. Your choice is great! While you are still open to the idea of marriage, deciding that you are okay as a single person, serving God thru others, is exactly what Apostle Paul did. God bless you!

    • Thanks, Anonymous. 🙂 It really is very freeing, not being burdened and pressured to “be in a relationship.” Unfortunately, my experiences (and observations) of the Christian culture lead me to conclude that even Christians have a tendency to turn marriage into an idol. Not being pressured by that is such a wonderful feeling. 😀

  3. Well basta ito lang: God is Honored in your Passion. Bahala na ang Diyos diyan. Basta gawin mo yung ipinagagawa niya sa iyo and you know what doing God’s will with Joy is with Great Gain. By the way: Marry a Guy whose conviction is Obeying God’s will is with Great Joy and may Godliness with Contentment.

  4. Pingback: Things I want to tell the Married People in my Seminary | Sarah the MissionArtist

  5. Pingback: My Heart, Redeemed | Sarah the MissionArtist

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