This afternoon, I lost my bag.
It’s not the most expensive bag in the world, but it contained my wallet, which contained my ATM card, and several hundred pesos.
Also, in that bag was my beloved two-year old purple umbrella, which I take pride in lasting this long (I’ve always lost my umbrellas). My cellphone, which in itself is actually cheap, but the information! How in the world will I re-collect all that information?! What else? Hmm, my clothes, which I was supposed to change out of this pretty, but scratchy Filipiniana costume.
When my mind first clocked the fact that my bag is freakin’ gone, I immediately did a mental check list of the all the other things I packed in it… or (thankfully) did not pack.
I felt this weird, sinking feeling in the gut.
I have NEVER lost anything of this value before. Sure, I’ve lost phones, but what’s several phones compared to all this? The fact that I could have prevented this (why, oh why did I leave it there?!) irks me the most. Stupid, stupid.
Oh, and all this happened while I was busy Stage Manager-ing in a program my organization held.
So there I was, trying to hold in my tears at the end of the program while people milled about, wanting to get others’ and their own photos. I know it’s petty, but it struck me that others’ oblivion to one’s plight adds to the devastation of it all. Well, it definitely added to my devastation.
Not everyone though. Several people learned about it, and were very empathetic.
So I went home to the Headquarters (where I’m currently staying in Metro Manila), sad but having accepted everything.
Wonder of wonders, ate Jeng calls and tells me that kuya Carlo HAS MY BAG!
SO. I gained a renewed appreciation for my colleagues. They blessed me with sympathy and cash.
Tonight I have lost, and I have found. It all gave me a much, MUCH better appreciation (though a fraction it may be) of what God must have felt.
This… feeling of finding. It must be one of the most incomparably amazing feelings in the world!
What could possibly compare to it?
I can’t imagine how sunk God must have felt (and still feels) to lose what was rightfully His. No wonder He so actively reaches out to get them all back. Get us all back.
And how much joy could God possibly feel when what is His is returned.
I think I know the tiniest, tiniest fraction of what it might feel.