So there’s this person in my life right now which I am, uhm, to put it nicely, having a difficult time loving. Let’s just call said person UPerson (Unlovable Person).
I used to grit my teeth in frustration and yelling. Loudly. Oh, those times were bad, really bad. Even worse than my fights with my sisters. I remember how frustrated I would be at UPerson, all the while hating myself for not being better. I should know better, right?
Then I moved to yelling my anger on paper.
Yes, I said I yelled on paper. You know? Like writing everything IN HUGE CAPITAL LETTERS WITH MULTIPLE EXCLAMATION MARKS BECAUSE I’M MAAAAADDDDD!
As time passed and my world grew and my social circles expanded, I reverted to simply ignoring UPerson. I figured, no interaction = lesser potential opportunity to fight. And it worked! For a time, it worked.
And yet for all my efforts, I couldn’t stay out of UPerson’s life altogether though. It was impossible. Eventually I came to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, in order to get the the happy times with UPerson (because there are happy times), I’d have to endure the icky times.
Now this is the part where I wish I could claim some sort of victory over this struggle.
This is where I wish I could say we both now get along.
This is where I wish I could we’ve finally worked out our differences and we have harmony together.
I WISH!
Sadly, no.
I still grit my teeth in frustration, but being the refined lady that I am now (by my standards, heh), I now hold it in. I still yell on paper every once in a while, but only seldom.
I wonder if UPerson and I will ever completely get along. For sure I get UPerson frustrated as much as UPerson frustrates me.
So what have I learned so far about this?
1) I am not above feeling anger and frustration. At times I feel guilty — I mean, a missionary such as myself should take it upon herself to give double efforts to love, right? But no. Even the “clergy” are prone to this.
2) Maybe… maybe UPerson and I will never get along. Nope, not in this life. Who know what God plans teaching me throughout my life in this struggle to love this UPerson?
Sigh. Got a UPerson in your life?
Sarah the MissionArtist 
Thank you for sharing. I call these people my sandpaper people. We all have them. Paul called his Uperson a thorn in his flesh….and I don’t think Paul ever got along with that person. Sometimes there are just people that challenge us….even Jesus had them. He was butting heads with the Pharisees quite regularly…but He loved them. You can still be angry at and frustrated with a person and love them. I often pray for the people that challenge me the most and find that it is much easier to let go of the offense and to forgive quickly when this is done. Do they still frustrate me? Absolutely! Do I love them? Absolutely! Do I love their behavior? No…But I have to love them.
Amen. These Sandpaper people, as you call them, could really get to us at times, don’t they? But the challenge of loving them will surely reproduce fruits of patience and love in our lives.Thanks for your thoughts. 😀