Well, I think I finally know what’s been bothering me the past couple of days.
Putting it lightly, I am appalled at myself.
Why have I behaved in such a manner? — in a manner completely not befitting someone claiming to be Christian. To say that I am mortified is an understatement.
It was a couple of days ago. I was sitting at a church program, no less, when suddenly I get this text from a friend.
Now this friend is someone I’ve known since college, but have not seen for a couple of years. Naturally all news about her I’ve only heard from other, mutual college friends. Recently, however, these news have been rather unfavorable towards her.
So I was sitting there at the church program, enjoying it, and I get the text.
If only I’d paused for a moment, or even reconsidered the reply I’d typed up with haste.
I sent to her a most judgmental and insensitive reply.
Because I can be a jerk like that.
I realized it the moment I sent it, especially when she replied back and she all but said: “I thought you’d be a bit more understanding, with you being a Christian and all.”
Straight to the heart.
In my defense, there really was truth in what I initially sent her. But as Marshall put it: the medium is the message. And the manner in which it is delivered certainly accounts for more.
And I knew from that moment that whatever witness I was trying to be to her is now forever tainted.
And what could be learned from this?
TO BE CAREFUL.
Was it a coincidence that I committed this offense while being in the company of fellow believers? No. The enemy really is prowling, awaiting that simple slip of judgement, of the tongue, biding his time and using even the faintest and smallest chink in the armor, to one’s disadvantage.
It could be to the cost of a friendship, but it is what it took to remind me that for all the skepticism and agnosticism in the world, people are desperate to see someone different, someone genuine. In such an environment as we are in today in which almost everyone is skeptical of everything, I believe that people want to be convinced of something real, that the Someone we claim to be our Lord is real.