Several days ago I met an alumnus of my alma mater, UP Baguio.
I must say, it was very encouraging to talk to him and hear how, even now, the principles he’d learned in college, with CCC, have been very useful to him.
Of course, as is almost always the case with alumni, there were the customary reminiscing stories…
All those stories of “back in the day” make me stand in awe of God’s power. Seeing this guy now, hearing his involvement and passion for the ministry even with his toxic duty at the hospital (he’s a medical doctor), and hearing how all his other batchmates too are still involved… I cannot help but be amazed at the far-reaching implications and results of true discipleship.
Stories such as these, however, inevitably lead me to be a bit jealous and wistful, making me ask: Why couldn’t I have experienced that?
And of course, thinking this inevitably brings the temptation to blame, to point fingers…
Why didn’t the staffs do anything?
What about our seniors then? Why didn’t they step up to leadership? If they had, I wouldn’t have been forced to premature leadership. Didn’t they realize how young and desperately in need of guidance I was?
Why did that happen?
When I think of these things, I somehow find it hard to believe that God allowed this to happen.
He allowed the movement in UPBaguio to fluctuate, to (in my perspective) fall so hard from so high.
He allowed it to fall into the hands of inexperienced students, one of which was me.
And perhaps the most difficult pill to swallow, personally, is that He allowed it to happen in my time.
Sino ba ang nagkulang?
These are questions I may not find answers for soon. These are questions that may never even be answered.
And from a human, fallen perspective, fingers could easily be pointed. But trusting in God means believing that in His sovereignty, He has worked everything for good, that He has a plan — a great and beautiful plan for me, for the current movement in UP Baguio, and for the future movement there.
He allowed everything, all these, to happen, for reasons we may never know.
And I must constantly remind myself to trust God, to say confidently that “I don’t know everything, and that’s okay.”
What disappointments have you had regarding your ministry, or your life?